What am I going to do?

So this past weekend I told my side of the family, they were thrilled and shocked. My sister Darcy is also expecting so the shirt I put on my nephew didn't work quite as well as I had planned...

The more we talked about the excitement of having twins, the more panicked I became. I thought of double feedings, double diapers, double college and double love I forgot about double cribs, double strollers, and double nursery in our small apartment. As my brother in law asked me if I would chose a double stroller with one baby in front and one baby always behind or a side by side stroller I realized, I have no idea....

Seriously you spend 32 years of your life wanting a career and a good marriage and then BAM your nephew comes along and you realize, everyone was right, I want a child...so you talk with your husband who for 11 years has heard no honey we don't want to have children, we want to be the aunt and uncle, yes honey I want children. He is a caring and understanding man and after some thought and months of discussions, finally, you both decide to try and have a baby.

Then comes the months of not getting pregnant. Is it me, is it him, what am I doing wrong. I wasn't going to be that wife who schedules when the couple has "playtime" and I wasn't going to be the wife who takes my temperature every day. I figured I would be a good wife and have sex every day or every other day, okay that was for me too :). Then I get frustrated every time it doesn't happen and I don't really want to cry on my husband's shoulder because he is going to get enough tears when the baby does get here, you know?

So I call on my number one, my best friend, my queen of the world, sports goddess who by the way is planning her wedding at the time and still makes time to listen to me cry because my cramps are so bad I am pretty sure God is pulling my uterus out Himself. She tells me I'm not old, she tells me it takes time to make a baby, she keeps me happy with "last hurrahs" and thoughts of another football game including beers :). She is my rock and this whole time she is planning her wedding!

Oh and don't forget, she is the only person on the planet who knows all of this. My husband knows, but let's face it, he's a man and does he really care, nope :). So then I am at my very best friend's wedding and I am watching her marry her best friend. I get to thinking as she hugs her family and friend's I am feeling very tired and very emotional, I don't remember being that overwhelmed at my own wedding, but all her family is now my family and all her friends are of course my friends. Maybe I just need a day to rest.

The next day I rest, okay I sleep the entire day away. I haven't slept an entire day away in forever, I figure it was all the excitement of the wedding and the rehearsal, right? WRONG. So I spend the next week as tired as I was that Sunday, now something isn't right. I start researching the internet because that's what we all do when things aren't quite how they should be. I read about something called implantation bleeding and wonder, could it be?